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Talking Tamales (Thu Nov 12 at 11:12 AM)

Alan says: I am in favor of limiting the governor to two consecutive terms. But blacklisting someone after eight years altogether, regardless of how good or bad they did their job, can needlessly force an effective public official out of public service. Many state governors throughout history have served well over eight years without their constituents regretting it. I would point out that such a system is wholly unworkable in twenty-first century America: we live in the era of the permanent campaign and the 24-hour news cycle. A governor facing re-election every other year would essentially do nothing but fundraise (which is close to what most do anyway even with four-year terms). (November 19th, 2009 at 11:09pm)

Sarah Bird

Features

Desperate Housewives

In this excerpt from writer-at-large Sarah Bird’s new novel, How Perfect Is That, the realities of life in early twenty-first century Austin become all-too-clear to a defrocked socialite. (June 2008)

Columns | Miscellany

Hedda Garbler

Help! My voice recognition software is making me save airy funnel things witch nobody wonder Stans. (December 2009)

One Angry Woman

Am I the only person who has always wanted to get picked for jury duty? (November 2009)

Rats!

Turns out being a test subject for a dermatology research lab is not the best thing that could ever happen to a girl. (October 2009)

Mammary Dearest

It was the breast of times, it was the worst of times. (September 2009)

Ranch Blessing

Or, how I stopped worrying and learned to love my formerly ugly, recently hip, linoleum-clad, mid-mod house. (August 2009)

Members Only

All my friends are going to be status updates. (July 2009)

Ready, Set, Go-Go!

Every female on earth believes she can dance. My big break came when a Bob Hope wannabe with shiny suits and a pinkie ring took me on as his sidekick for a two-week tour of Tokyo. (June 2009)

Hack Like Me

My trashy, sordid, steamy, decently paid turn as a writer for the pulps. (April 2009)

Dishing

Eating high on the hog when you’re low on the totem pole. (February 2009)

The Goodbye Boy

My only son is leaving for college, and I’m weeping through Mamma Mia! Lord help me. (December 2008)

Hard Knocks

Introducing the Dean of Doors, in all his doorificence. (October 2008)

Lactation Nation

Putting the fun in fun bags! The mommy in mommy muffins! (I could go on.) (August 2008)

This Year’s Model

Hey, captains of industry: If Dr. Evil can have a Mini Me, why can’t the rest of us? (June 2008)

In a Lather

My Petco encounter with a shampoo celebrity. (April 2008)

Geezer Nation

Greetings from Snowbirdlandia! Wish you were old. (February 2008)

Home Groan

One year (okay, two days) of livin’ la vida locavore. (January 2008)

Craigslust

Suburban mom seeks motorcycle jacket. (December 2007)

The Triptych to Bountiful

Let’s go to the science fair! (August 2007)

Hog Wild

I subject myself to yet another seminal Texas experience: the hunt. (July 2007)

No Ifs, Abs, Or Butts

My instructor is a Flabbo Nazi, and other tales from the aerobics wars. (June 2007)

Lark of The Covenant

Bill Zedler’s plan to keep me married—forever. (May 2007)

The Price Is Rite

Getting in touch with my inner bargain hunter. (April 2007)

Good-bye, Mrs. Chips

My short, happy life as a poker player. (March 2007)

Tour De Farce

The absurdity of the college visit (and why you should leave your kids at home). (February 2007)

Horn ’Em, Hookers!

Texas versus Iowa State versus me. (January 2007)

Snakes on a Brain

The day I slithered from movie theater to movie theater. (December 2006)

Neck And Neck

Nora Ephron’s wattle, and Ann Richards’s, and mine. (November 2006)

Going Private

Teen Boy’s sugar-free education. (October 2006)

My Dirty Little Secret

I’m a slob. There, I said it. Now don’t mess with me. (September 2006)

Pedal to My Mettle

Teen Boy gets behind the wheel. (August 2006)

Meet the Needles

A few sore points about HMOs— and two thumbs-up for the acupuncturist. (July 2006)

Step Lively

My dancing feet. And, hopefully, yours. (June 2006)

The Furs Were Flying

There is a world where the kings of small African countries send cases of Dom Pérignon as hostess gifts, where you get to choose between the white-striped chinchilla and the violet beaver shearling poncho. Who let me in? (May 2006)

Buy, Buy, Birdie

Ladies’ fashion is nothing if not a fantasy inside an illusion wrapped in a thong. Every season, there is a new “look,” a new “trend,” a new “paranoid schizophrenic thought disorder.” And then there are returns. (April 2006)